The Crown and the Cave

By Prim Sooksangchaya

Lockdown, lockdown

For me it was

Lockup

I locked myself up in a cave; a big and small cave; a tangible and intangible

Cave

Have you ever been inside a cave in the daytime?

It’s pitch-dark

In the beginning, you knew that Helios was seated on his throne outside

But after a while, you’re no longer sure whether Nikkō Bosatsu

Would still be ruling

All you could do is groping along, hoping

That the way out is only a step away

That Ra awaits you in his Crown

On the other side of

The Cave

But you’re lost

You grow certain

That Sūryaprabhā has left

That Candraprabhā has begun to reign

That awaits you instead is King Hades

With his piercing bident and devouring Cerberus

And the beautiful Queen Persephone

With her flowery Crown

All of whom are only interested in guiding your soul

Out of the Cave

Leaving your unimportant body inside

To be discovered by those entering the Cave afterwards

Only your lost soul matters

To the Crown of Osiris

The Crown; Corona; O Στέμμα

Should thou not be protecting thy subjects instead of

Robbing them?

Should thou not be governing with peace and harmony instead of

Creating chaos?

Should thou not be kind and loving instead of

Cruel and murderous?

Should thou not let thy people breathe instead of

Masking their faces up?

Quarter-life crisis, Existential crisis, Whichever crisis it was I do not know

All I know is that it was

Painful, scary, confusing,

Cold and dark

In that big and small; tangible and intangible

Cave of mine

I was dying

In a healthy body

Awaited me outside wasn’t Sol Invictus but

Psychiatrists and Psychologists

On the other side of

The Cave

The Crown parched my Ocean

Tore my Mainsail

Broke my Rudder

Halted my round-the-world Adventure

Snatched my Oslo time and tossed me a Solo time

Shrugged His divine shoulders,

Chuckling, saying it doesn’t matter

For both contain just the same letters

Wirra, the same they weren’t

In my lonesome Cave I saw darkness in light

Ugliness in beauty

Pain in bliss

Hunger in satiation

Emptiness in abundance

Sorrow in joy

Despair in hope

Fear in courage

Hatred in love

Vengeance in forgiveness

Tyrant in the Crown

The Cave was a month in width and a year in length

Yet, it felt like an eternity wide and forever long

The mortal Cave

Tasted like an

Immortal grave

But nothing is forever

Mono-no-aware ‘もののあはれ’

Especially the things you want forever

The things you want forever are

Short-lived.

Mars came,

Rescued me

With his Strength

Power, Resoluteness, Determination, Action

His Invincibility

Leading me with Light shone from his sharp and sweet Blade

Holding me up with new love, new journey, new space, new time

Giving life to the dying soul

To fit

With

The healthy body

Voilà, the same things weren’t

In my solitary Cave I saw light in darkness Beauty in ugliness

Bliss in pain

Satiation in hunger

Abundance in emptiness

Joy in sorrow

Hope in despair

Courage in fear

Love in hatred

Forgiveness in vengeance

The Crown in tyrant

His blood-red Planet gave me a pair of Fiery silver lined wings

I started to breathe and live

The glowing azure Spring

Have you ever come out of a cave in the daytime?

It’s illuminated-light

In the end, you see that Helios is seated on his throne outside That Nikkō Bosatsu, Sūryaprabhā, and even Sol Invictus

Are ruling still

All together, creating blinding light, lighter

Than it was before you disappeared

Into the Cave

That Ra has been awaiting you in his Crown

On the other side of

The Cave

To warmth, to light

I found the Key

The Cave

Intangible and tangible; small and big; I unlocked myself from

Lockup

For me it isn’t

Lockdown, lockdown.

Note: A number of names, a word and a phrase from languages other than English are placed in this poem for further creativity. Here is a quick explanation to help you enjoy the free verse a little more in case those words are unfamiliar to you.

Helios (Greek), Nikkō Bosatsu (Japanese), Ra (Egyptian; also Re or Pra elsewhere), Sūryaprabhā (Sanskrit), Sol Invictus (Latin) = Sun gods

Candraprabhā (Sanskrit) = Moon god

Hades (Greek; also Aïdes, Pluto or Pluton elsewhere), Osiris (Egyptian; also Usir) = God of the Underworld

Persephone (Greek) = Hades’s Queen

Cerberus (Greek) = Watchdog of the Underworld

Στέμμα (Greek) = Crown (*Special thanks to my friend Isavella Vouza for this word.)

‘もののあはれ’—mono-no-aware (Japanese): one possible translation is“the pathos of things”. The meaning of this untranslatable phrase can roughly be explained as a bittersweet emotion of deep, moving yet serene and gentle sadness upon seeing the transience of things. The impermanence and evanescence of all existence enhance their beauty, and one is reminded that changes are part of nature to be appreciated in the present moment rather than to be clung onto. Cherry blossoms bloom and fall quickly; people enter our life and leave. Yet, new flowers will blossom; new people will cross our paths.

Japanese people observe mono-no-aware especially during the Sakura (cherry blossom) season.